


Reaching Out

by Maraudererasmut



Series: Wolfstar Shorts [28]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Black Family (Harry Potter) - Freeform, Family Drama, Family Feels, First War with Voldemort, Gen, Marauders, Marauders' Era, References to Depression, Sirius Black & James Potter Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-22
Updated: 2018-10-22
Packaged: 2019-08-06 03:24:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16380482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maraudererasmut/pseuds/Maraudererasmut
Summary: Sirius was shaken when he discovered that his brother was a Death Eater. James encourages Sirius to reach out to the only person who could understand how he feels.





	Reaching Out

**Author's Note:**

> Last time on Wolfstar Shorts:
> 
> Sirius sees that his brother is a Death Eater! James, Lily, Remus and Sirius spend a day at Potter Manor, recovering from the shock of battle! Sirius does that thing he does when he gets upset!
> 
>  
> 
> This one begins almost immediately after The Concert ends. It's pretty Sirius heavy, showing some of his thought process and the way that he grieves. I think this short shows a lot of growth for Sirius. 
> 
>  
> 
> Anyway, this isn't smut and isn't sexy. I get the feeling it might not be as well-liked as some of my more risque shorts... But it's a story that I've been wanting to get out for a while, and I'm happy I wrote it.
> 
> Enjoy!

“I don't wanna talk about it.”

 

“Sirius, you can't keep everything bottled up inside…”

 

“I said I _don't want to talk about it_ , Remus.”

 

Lily was sitting with James in his room, trying to ignore the conversation seeping through the walls from next door.

 

“Sirius, come on… you need to-”

 

“ _Drop it_ , Remus.”

 

Lily turned to her boyfriend with a look of concern.

 

“Maybe you should go talk to him?”

 

Potter knew that there was nothing he could do to make Sirius feel better. His best friend was the type of person who pushed his emotions down and ignored them for as long as possible. Knowing Sirius, he'd probably never be ready to talk about this.

 

“Please?”

 

“Fine…” James reluctantly stood up and headed down the hall to Sirius’ room, dismayed that he allowed Lily to convince him so easily. James approached Sirius’ door and knocked sharply. “Pads? Moony? Can I come in?”

 

He waited for a response.

 

“Not now, Prongs.”

 

James was about to walk away when Lily appeared in the threshold of his bedroom, urging him to try again. With a dramatic sigh, James knocked on Sirius’ door a second time.

 

“Please?”

 

The door opened and Remus’ face appeared, battered and worn.

 

“Your turn…”

 

Remus squeezed past James and headed to where Lily was standing. James glanced at the two of them before heading into Sirius’ bedroom.

 

The room was dark, the curtains drawn, and Padfoot was lying in bed, facing the wall.

 

“... Pads?”

 

“Fuck off, Prongs.”

 

James sat down on the floor beside the bed, leaning against the frame.

 

“Wanna talk?”

 

“No.”

 

“Well, can _I_ talk?”

 

“No.”

 

James considered giving up. He was ready to leave the room and head down to dinner with his girlfriend, but despite his frustration, Potter knew that he couldn't abandon his friend.

 

“It's not your fault, Sirius.”

 

“I said fuck _off_ , James.”

 

“If anything, it's _their_ fault.”

 

“What part of “fuck off” aren't you getting?”

 

“Sirius, if you don't want to talk with Moony and you don't want to talk with me, that's fine. But you have to talk to _someone_.”

 

James stared at the Gryffindor pinnie hanging on the wall in front of him as the room fell into silence.

 

“Sirius… will you meet with Andromeda?”

 

Prongs heard a rustling in the bed behind him.

 

“Why the fuck would I do that?”

 

“Because she gets it? Because she's the only person you know who's been through this exact situation? Because Remus and I are worried about you and we think you should find someone to talk to?”

 

James heard Sirius let out a heavy sigh.

 

“Will you stop bugging me if I meet with her?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Fine.”

 

James didn't get up. He sat in the dark next to Sirius’ bed until the sounds of gentle snoring drifted out from beneath the covers. Standing up, he quietly escaped the bedroom, closing the door carefully on his way out.

 

“Come on. Let's go have dinner.”

 

“What about Sirius?” Lily stared at the closed door behind James.

 

“He needs to sleep this one off. I prefer him sleeping. It's better than the alternative…”

 

The three of them made their way downstairs to help Mrs. Potter set the table.

  


\-----

  


Sirius walked into the coffee shop, searching for someone he had never seen before. He silently cursed James for forcing him to do this. Making a cursory glance of the room at large, Sirius noticed a familiar face sitting at a table in the corner of the room.

 

The woman had sharp, distinct features, with deep set eyes and thin lips; pale skin stretched over high cheekbones, a face that was unconventionally attractive. She had long brown curls that cascaded gracefully down her back, pouring over slim shoulders. This woman could easily have been mistaken for Bellatrix Lestrange if not for the kind expression in her bright eyes and soft smile.

 

Sirius approached her table, straightening his leather jacket and sweeping his hair out of his eyes.

 

“Sirius?”

 

She must have recognized him the same way he recognized her: Sirius looked like a Black, through and through.

 

“Hello, Andromeda.”

 

The woman stood up and enthusiastically beckoned her cousin over. As he neared the table, she began to reach for a hug but decided against it, offering a handshake instead.

 

The two Blacks sat down across from each other, absorbing the familiarities in the others’ faces.

 

“Oh, Sirius!” Andromeda started after a brief moment. “I'm so glad that you decided to meet with me. I can't _begin_ to express how happy I am!”

 

Sirius nodded, not saying anything. He wasn't sure how he felt about the situation yet.

 

“...Thank you, Sirius.” She smiled, grey eyes shining brightly with emotion.

 

“So… You know the Potters?” Sirius had a list of questions in his mind that he wanted to ask his cousin. He figured he might as well start with an easy one.

 

“Oh, yes, well, they're part of the Order.”

 

“The Order…?”

 

Andromeda fidgeted in her seat, realizing that she may have revealed too much information.

 

“Oh, yeah… I suppose Dumbledore hasn't told you yet...”

 

“... _Dumbledore_?” Sirius’ curiosity was piqued; he was going to press the issue until he got an answer.

 

“I think… I think we should wait until he tells you first…”

 

Sirius flashed his winning smile and mustered his most charming expression.

 

“Andromeda, please?”

 

His cousin cocked an eyebrow as a smirk passed her lips.

 

“Cheeky little bugger, aren't you… you do realize we're related, yeah?” Andromeda let out a small laugh, brushing a loose strand of hair behind her ear. It was an eerie laugh that didn't suit the gentle features on her face. It was Sirius’ laugh. “I suppose the cat's already out of the bag. But don't tell Dumbledore I told you, 'kay?” She flashed Sirius a toothy grin before casting a wandless silencing spell. Sirius leaned into the table, giddy with anticipation.

 

“Well, go on then...”

 

“The Order of the Phoenix. I can't tell you much, even with this spell. We're not safe out here, in public. Suffice it to say, there's a bunch of us fighting against... _You-Know-Who…_ a few Aurors, some friends from the ministry, some faces you may even recognize… Dumbledore is in charge. He's gathered these people together, united them…” Sirius listened in awe as Andromeda talked about their secretive society run by the Headmaster. He was shocked, and relieved, to discover that a member of his own family was actively fighting against Voldemort and his army.

 

“And you're… part of this Order?”

 

“Oh yes. Ted and I… the Potters… The Longbottoms… they're just a few years older than you, you may remember them from Hogwarts… The Weasleys…” Andromeda looked at Sirius and let out a sigh, a sad smile crossing her face. “ _No_ , Sirius.”

 

“I didn't say anything!” Sirius was defensive, but the hungry look in his eyes gave him away.

 

“Dumbledore doesn't allow students to join.”

 

“But--”

 

“So long as you’re attending Hogwarts, you _cannot_ be a member of the Order. Dumbledore has made that abundantly clear.”

 

Sirius sat back in his chair, a grin tugging at the corners of his mouth. He knew exactly what his cousin was trying to say: this was his last year at Hogwarts. Once they all graduated, Sirius and his friends could join the Order and finally do some good in the world.

 

Andromeda leaned into the table and folded her hands, taking in every part of Sirius’ appearance, from his messy black fringe to his beat-up Chucks. The smile on her face never waivered.

 

“But enough about me. Tell me about your life, Sirius…”

 

Sirius shrugged and crossed his arms, feigning disinterest. He didn't want to talk about his life with Andromeda; he didn't want to talk about his life with anyone from his past.

 

“Iunno… what's there to tell?”

 

“Well, you're friends with the Potters’ son… do you have other friends at Hogwarts?”

 

Sirius shrugged again.

 

“Yeah…”

 

Andromeda laughed. Sirius couldn't help but smile slightly, hearing his own typical bark coming from someone else's mouth.

 

“Sirius, you don't have to play dumb with me. I told you, I'm in the Order. If you think I'd pull any of the same shit the rest of the family did, you're sorely mistaken. There's a reason they've burned me from the tapestry.

 

Sirius’ stomach churned, a knot forming deep within his chest.

 

_The tapestry._

 

He had almost forgotten about the damn thing. He wondered how soon after he left the house his own name was singed from its woven threads.

 

“Right… yeah… sorry.”

 

“Don't be. I get why you're hesitant. I would be, too. But… Sirius, we're in this together, you know. You and I. I know what you've been through, what you're feeling. Hell, you're just like me when I was your age! Feisty, eager. I bet you're a real shit disturber…”

 

Sirius couldn't help but laugh. Hearing this woman cus somehow made her seem more relatable.

 

“Look, you don't have to talk about yourself if you don't want… I just… I'd love to get to know you. I'd love to have a bit of family in my life.”

 

Sirius swept his hair from of his eyes, leaning back in the chair. He was stalling, trying to decide how much he was ready to open up about.

 

“I've got some friends at Hogwarts. They're all Gryffindors, different families. Potter's the only pureblood.”

 

Andromeda didn't say anything; she wanted to let Sirius talk.

 

“They're good people…” He mumbled, picking absentmindedly at his nail polish.

 

“Are… are you seeing anyone?”

 

“Um… yeah… I am…”

 

“What's her name? What's she like?”

 

Sirius hesitated. Was he prepared to share this part of his life with another Black? Not only was he a blood traitor, he broke every social norm that his family had ever upheld. Admitting things aloud could destroy the delicate relationship that he was beginning to form.

 

“Uh… his name's Remus…?”

 

Sirius didn't look up from his hands as he spoke.

 

“Oh!” Andromeda took a moment to absorb what she heard. “Well, tell me about him! What's he like?”

 

Sirius could feel the air rushing into his lungs as the tightness released from his chest, fear and pressure dissipating entirely.

 

“He's… well, he's amazing.” He looked up and gave his cousin a weak smile. She looked at him kindly, the same expression Lily would make after he admitted something honest and delicate to her. “He's… he's smart. And nice. And he's brave, of course, being in Gryffindor. And he's… well, he gets me..”

 

_He's broken. And flawed. And he knows what pain feels like. He knows what it's like to wake up in the morning, disappointed that you ever opened your eyes at all..._

 

“He sounds wonderful.”

 

“He is…”

 

A silence fell over the two cousins as they took each other in, absorbing details, noting similarities. It took a while, but Sirius eventually decided to talk about what had been weighing him down recently.

 

“Hey, can I ask you a question?”

 

“Of course.” Andromeda knew this was coming. She had a feeling that Sirius would want to know more about her family life and how she severed ties with the Blacks. After all, he was dealing with the same challenges.

 

“How… how do you cope with it?”

 

“Is this a specific 'it’ or a general one?”

 

The edges of Sirius’ mouth curled up a bit. She was good.

 

“Them… The whole family being... _evil_.”

 

Andromeda laughed, a cold, dark laugh. The same sarcastic laugh that Sirius always gave when things got too difficult to deal with and he needed to find humour in his life.

 

“I don't.”

 

That wasn't the answer he needed to hear.

 

“I fight with the Order. We deal with Death Eaters all the time. The hardest is when I recognize a voice. It's usually Bella. My sister... My big sister. The girl who taught me how to ride a broom. My deuling partner from my childhood…” Andromeda trailed off.

 

Sirius looked back down at his hands, twiddling his fingers.

 

“It never gets easier, Sirius. I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry.”

 

He thought of his brother: the boy that he could have saved, had he stayed at 12 Grimmauld Place.

 

_Selfish. You're a selfish ass. You left him and broke him, because you were too selfish to save him._

 

“Sirius…” He looked up. “Sirius, I can see where your mind is going. Don't let yourself do that. Don't let your thoughts go there…”

 

“How did you--”

 

“You keep forgetting, Sirius. We're related. You're just like me. You don't think I blame myself? Every day, a voice in my head tells me that if I stayed… if I was there… things might have been different.” Andromeda reached out and took Sirius’ hand, locking their gazes. “It's not your fault, Sirius. There is _nothing_ you could have done. You needed to save yourself and get out of there. You probably don't hear it enough, so I'm going to tell you right now: _you did the right thing_. You made the right decision.”

 

Sirius looked away, willing himself not to cry. He didn't want to show weakness, not in public. Andromeda had known exactly what to say, she knew precisely which buttons to press. Sirius took a deep, steadying breath and looked back at his cousin.

 

“I want to help him.”

 

Andromeda’s expression changed. Her heart broke for Sirius, watching him go through the same struggles that she dealt with years ago. She didn’t want to be the bearer of bad news, but there were some difficult truths that her young cousin needed to hear.

 

“You can’t. He made his choice. You made yours…” She saw the spark leave his eyes, the last bit of hope that he still held. “You made the right decision, Sirius. Remember that. You chose to fight for what you believe in, for the people you love. People like my husband and daughter, like your boyfriend. And… And I’m proud of you. I’m so very proud of you, Sirius.” Andromeda’s eyes were shining with tears that she tried to blink away.

 

“Thank you…” James was right. Having someone to talk to, someone who knew what he was feeling, helped Sirius sort through his emotions; emotions that he struggled to find words for. “That’s the first time any Black has ever told me that…” Sirius managed a smile.

 

“Well, that’s one more than I ever got,” his cousin teased, trying to lighten the tension. Andromeda checked her watch and swore under her breath. “ _Shit,_ I have to pick Dora up from school. Do you need a lift home, Sirius?”

 

“No, I’m fine. Thanks, though... I… I have a motorbike.” He smirked. He was very proud of his baby girl.

 

“A muggle one?!” Andromeda leaned forward, thoroughly impressed.

 

“Yup. Fully muggle.”

 

A wicked grin crossed her lips as she cocked an eyebrow at her younger cousin.

 

“You should make it fly.”

 

Sirius’ eyes lit up. How had he never thought of that? A flying motorbike. _His_ flying motorbike.

 

“You’re brilliant!”

 

“I try.” Andromeda gave a cheeky wink and stood up. Sirius got to his feet. Without warning, his cousin swung her arms around him and squeezed tightly. “And I bet this is your first hug from a Black, isn’t it…”

 

Sirius smiled and returned the hug.

 

The two cousins parted ways, promising to keep in touch throughout the summer and school year. Sirius hopped onto his bike and rode back to the Potters’ home, picturing the excitement on James’ face at the prospect of charming it to fly.

 

He pulled into the driveway, parked his bike, and headed to the door, stopping dead in his tracks. Sitting on the steps in front of Potter Manor was Remus, clutching a roll of parchment in his fist, a look of terror on his face.

 

“Moony…?”

 

“Sirius… I…I don't know what to do…”

  


**Author's Note:**

> Next time on Wolfstar Shorts:
> 
> Will Remus tell us what happened? Will Sirius ever stop being a selfish prat? Will James and Lily finally have a smutty story of their own? Will Peter be allowed back into the story? Let's find out!


End file.
